Women's curling

Faster: "Guys womens curling is on tonight!"

Captain Happy Pants: "What are they gonna be curling? Their hair? 'Oooh that's a pretty bad neck burn, yeah judges aren't gonna like that.'"



El Pollo Loco: "Listening to women's curling is like listening to porn. All they say is, 'Yeah! Keep going! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Keep going! OK stop! Stop!'"

Marriage talks

Mini Adonis: "I'd like to think I could kill my wife and not go crazy..."

Captain Happy Pants: "Well it's not like women are real people anyway."

Mini Adonis: "Exactly! It's just like putting your dog down."