Nora: airbending
W: im going to bloodbend you into menopause

whitey

BT:What kind of person jizzes all over their bedsheets
WT: I do
BT:Lots of people don't have jiz all over their sheets
WT: well then they're not living

adonis

Put it in that bush right there...and yes that's what she said

Domestic Violence

El Pollo Loco: I don't think Chris Brown should be getting shit for punching that chick Rihanna.

CHP: Because sometimes women just deserve it?

Post Party Mess.

CHP: I'm gonna pop every last balloon. It's gonna be a balloon holocaust, only I'm not gonna be inefficient like that bitch Hitler. I'm gonna get them all...

Dragon's Surprise Party!

Mini-Adonis: I'm not gonna hide in the hall. I don't feel safe in a darkened hallway with (N-Word Jim).

Dragon's Surprise Party!

Maxi-Pad: Can I stand up now?

Poof: Who told you to sit?!

Downtown Aftermath

El Pollo Loco to Tannish after an evening downtown:
Pollo: "you alive?"

Tannish: "barely"

Pollo: "do you remember much about last night?"

Tannish: "bits and pieces.. i have blood in my sheets and which of the six places on my body that hurt it came from"

Pollo: "leg being one, feet?"

Tannish: "knee, two of feet, and both elbows haha..
i also remember Max tucking me into your truck bed and looking at the stars baffled by how much smoother of a ride it is in the bed than the cab"

Pollo: "hahahaha so what was the sixth thing you hurt?"

Tannish: "my pride"

Happy Belated Anniversary

January 22nd, 2011 marked the one year anniversary of this blog.
thank you friends and family for saying weird, random, and somewhat offensive shit that we could write about.

The Crowning of King Douche

J3Po to El Pollo Loco: "You are King Douche: no one is as big of a douche is you"