Racism Ensues

Kid: How many feet can you jump?

N-word Jim: Black


Kid: Why does everyone like the white cupcakes?

N-word Jim: Because they make more money

Age of Innocence

N-word Jim: "I enjoy making pedophilia jokes because I work with children and I think you (Captain Happy Pants) should make more bestiality jokes because you work with animals."

Captain Happy Pants: "I will make a concerted effort to do just that."

Captain Happy Pants: "My phone doesn't know the word pedophilia..."

N-word Jim: "You should teach it while it's still young."

Dc Rip

Dc Sucks...take that superman

El Pollo Loco:"I hate pop music stations dude. They were playing Kesha today. Apparently she wakes up in the morning and feels like P-Diddy. Who says that?"

Captain Happy Pants:"Maybe she felt autistic that day."

Actions have consequences

Tannish: You know how after a chick sucks your dick how you have a little less respect for her?

Something that should be on text from last night

El pollo loco: Go find something to do... besides drink.

Billy: Its too late and besides for me it was like noon i got up at 6! And 6 is sleeping in for me so it is like noon right?

El pollo loco: No! That's not noon!

Billy: Not for u! It's noon somewhere. I alreaqdy ran this by nat and she said i'm not an alcoholic